Humorous Observations

Stumbled upon these little gems this morning.


Enjoy.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all
I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can
tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly
involves me.


Nothing feels worse than that moment during an argument when
you realize you're wrong.


Have you ever been walking down the street and realized
that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are
supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back
in the direction from which you came, you have to first do
something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter
to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.


I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap
when I was younger.


The letters T and G are very close to each other on a
keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I
will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.


Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and
it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would
magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did
we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message
boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. 

There is a great need for sarcasm font.


Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was
younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on
when I first saw it.


I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it
actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up
wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just
a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still
the only one who really, really gets it.


How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?


I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each
hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.


Was learning cursive really necessary?


Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have
nothing else to say".


I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between
boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a

Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you 

just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road

and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5.

Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you

how the person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get

in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of

tired.

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their

offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room

has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so

incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this

shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a

moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing

anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs?

I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure

you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and

it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper

that I swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash

this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of

people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will

they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't

watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and

leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?"

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?

Hello? Dangit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and

goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the

phone and run away?